As if the stress of a wedding is’t enough, there’s the stress of dealing with well-meaning family members who mean for you to do what they want.
Your anxious aunties may want the inside scoop with plenty of juicy details, and they’ll share their wedding tips with you as well, but it can be meddling moms — on the bride’s and the groom’s side — who unintentionally cause the most anxiety in newlyweds.
When you consider that half of all relationships have ended in divorce, and about a third of those single parents have remarried, you may be dealing with more moms than you thought possible.
Meddling moms have been known to insist on picking out the luxury wedding invitations, determining whether or not you will have wedding favors and attending the cake tasting. Their wedding tips are endless, but not always appreciated.
Wedding tips you can use include how to prevent hurt feelings and deal with tempers.
Be the grown-up.
As soon as you are engaged, talk to your mom about what your dreams for your wedding are, and point out specifically how she can help you create the day of your dreams.
Together, talk about which tasks the two of you will do together and which you will do with others.
She may have always dreamed of helping you shop for your wedding gown, but if that’s something you’ve always wanted to do with your bestie, then say so. If your mom is crestfallen about your decision, suggest that the two of you pick out your veil or headpiece.
Have the talk.
Sit down over coffee or some other preferably non-alcoholic beverage, and talk. Just talk. Find out what’s important to your mom(s) and why. She wants to invite her business friends? What does she want to get out of this gesture?
If you have more than one meddling mom, talk to each one of them separately. Holding separate conversations does two things: first, this gesture says, “You are important enough to me to carve out time to listen to you.”
By talking to one mom at a time, you also prevent heated arguments, teaming up and accusations.
Hopefully.
Ask for wedding tips.
This may seem counter-intuitive, but you may be surprised with some of the tips your mom will tell you. Some of them will be incredibly useful, like keeping a catalogued list of gifts as they arrive. Others may make you scratch your head.
Let your mom know that you might not use all of her wedding tips because you are going to employ the ones that will work best for you and your wedding.
Keep in mind that everyone will have tips they want to share; people can;t help but want to give advice. If you can look your mom — or anyone else — in the eye and honestly say, “Thanks for suggesting that; I’ll consider it,” then you have taken your first steps into a new life of your own.